As we celebrate Fathers’ Day this Sunday, four young men salute the men who have made the greatest impact in their lives. PHOTO | FILE
Switch on one of the country’s many radio stations in the morning, and you are likely to hear a caller, most likely a woman, lamenting about how “irresponsible” men have become, and what poor role models they are to their children.
This has become a common conversation, that of households being run by women, while the men happily sleep and watch television all day long, confident in the fact that their wives will bring the bacon home.
Those who should know often blame this disturbing attitude on lack of strong role models in such men’s lives, or more specifically, lack of a father’s guiding hand.
It is said that how fathers raise their sons has a huge bearing on how they will turn out as men, that to raise a generation of responsible men, you need responsible men to do the job.
As we celebrate Fathers’ Day on the 21st of this month, we spoke to four young men who look up to their fathers, men who say that they are who they are today because of their fathers’ wisdom and guidance.
Ian Muthangya with his father John Mati. PHOTO | MARYANNE WAWERU
Name: Ian Muthangya
Age: 21
Occupation: Businessman
Father: John Mati
I recently graduated from the University of Nairobi with a degree in economics. I have a fashion label called Vintara Collections. I like to describe myself as a highly motivated, confident person, attributes that were nurtured by my father. He has been a constant guide in my life. I have watched him make many sacrifices for me and my two younger brothers, and now that I am an adult, I endeavour to be the great man he is.
When I was in Class Five, my dad left the comfort of employment to start his own business. Our life changed significantly - we no longer enjoyed the luxuries we did when he was employed. It was not all bad though, because being his own boss meant that he could control when and how long he worked, so we got to spend much more time with him.
His job had been demanding, and often, he would travel out of the country, spending a significant amount of time away from us - we missed him terribly. When I learnt that one of his main reasons for quitting his job was so that he could spend more time with us, I developed profound respect for him.
Just like any other business, my father’s would go through ups and downs. Sometimes, dad, a contractor, would go for long periods without work, but he never gave up, even when all the signs told him he was better off being employed. His resilience and self-confidence kept him going, virtues that I greatly admired. Dad quit employment 10 years ago, and his business is now doing well. His success inspired me to start my own business while still in university. It is doing relatively well, thanks to my father’s mentorship.
What many don’t know about dad is that he educates poor children back in our rural home in Mwingi. I have always been amazed at his generosity. Even when his business was not doing well, he never failed to find money to pay school fees for the many children he educated, children that came from poor families.
Not once did he fail to honor his pledge to these children, even when he was at his lowest. It is this exceptional man who inspired me to start a charitable initiative called Wipe a Tear Foundation, which I started while I was a Form Three student at Sunshine Secondary School.
My foundation is registered, and currently has 40 members. We visit children’s homes on a regular basis, and work with the homes to develop business plans for self-sustaining business ventures, as opposed to relying on donations from well-wishers. I am who I am today because of the presence of my dad in my life. He is my greatest role model.
Joseph Otieno with his father Noah Odero. PHOTOS | MARYANNE WAWERU
Name: Joseph Otieno
Age: 35
Occupation: Project officer
Married with one child
Father: Noah Odero
I have nothing but great admiration and respect for my 67-year-old father. My father has used crutches to walk since he was a young boy, yet he has never allowed this to affect him in any way. When he was growing up, there were limited opportunities for handicapped children, so you can only imagine the challenges he had to endure to ensure he got an education.
After secondary school, my dad studied accounts, and afterwards found employment in a hotel in Nakuru, where we grew up. A hard worker, he got up early every morning and went to work.
Dad was the bread winner, and even though he did not have a ‘big’ salary, he ensured that we all went to school and had enough to eat. He also ensured that he spent lots of time with us – we are six, and I am the first born. He was a dedicated father, and ensured that he never failed to come and see me in school during visiting days, even though the distance from the matatu stage to school was about 1km of rough road, a challenge for someone on crutches. He religiously made the many trips until I completed secondary school, a gesture that made me admire, respect and love him more.
He is the one that instilled in me the value of hard work. However, one of the most important lessons he taught my siblings and I was to value money. For example, whenever there was a school trip and we needed to pay for it, he would assign us chores, which included helping mum at the shop he had set up for her. He would then pay us a ‘salary’ depending on the hours we worked. This taught me that no money is free – you have to work for it. Thank you dad, you are the best father a man can have.
Parma with his father Wilson Naimasiah. PHOTO | MARYANNE WAWERU
Name: Parma Naimasiah
Age: 29
Occupation: Businessman
Married with one child.
I don’t think there are words suitable enough to describe my father, who is my greatest source of inspiration. He has been the most influential teacher in my life, and one of the greatest lessons I have learnt from him is respect. Dad taught me to treat all people with respect, especially women, and those older than me – it is said that children learn best through action; dad ensured that his actions mirrored his verbal lessons, and to me, there is no better way a parent can influence their child than that.
Dad is a quiet man, who seldom gets angry, though is quite observant, and therefore rarely misses anything. He had an interesting approach when it came to discipline – most fathers give their children a list of things they are not supposed to do, and should they disobey, they are punished. Dad did it differently; he allowed me to learn from my mistakes.
For instance, during my rebellious teen years, instead of trying to put a lid on my bad behaviour, he let me experience the consequences of my rebellion.
What better teacher is there than experience? Growing up, my first reaction was to reject his advice, but when I look back now, I realise that most of what he taught me during that stubborn phase was spoken out of love and wisdom.
I am an adult now, but I do not hesitate to seek his advice, advice that comes in handy. My father has been a successful businessman for decades, and being in business myself, I find myself seeking his counsel often.
My marriage is still young, and once in a while, when I encounter a challenge, he is the first person I turned to, because I trust his judgement.
I am confident in my role as a father, because I had a good father.
Just like he did, I will ensure that my children get a good education, just like the one he gave my two sisters and I. I will also teach my children to respect others. Besides that, I will expose my children to their rich Maasai culture, and teach them to be proud of who they are, just like my father taught me.
Oscar Wanyonyi. PHOTO | MARYANNE WAWERU
Name: Oscar Wanyonyi
Age: 35
Occupation: Civil engineer
Married with two children
Father: Mathias Wafula
My father has been a great influence in my life, and I admire him a lot. He has a cool, calm, but firm personality, characteristics that always endeared me to him while I was growing up.
We are six, and whenever any of us made a mistake, he would call us aside, and patiently explain why we should not have done what we did. He would then tell us what to do to ensure that we did not repeat the same mistake. There was always so much wisdom in the words he spoke, even as he corrected us.
I am told that I am highly confident, a characteristic that I owe to my father, because he affirmed me, and never failed to remind me of how capable I was.
Mathias Wafula, Oscar Wanyonyi's father. PHOTO | MARYANNE WAWERU
Even though I have many examples I could give to demonstrate just how instrumental he has been in my success, I will cite the influential role he played in my education. When I joined Class One, dad said he believed I had the ability to beat my classmates.
I don’t know what he saw in me, but his words remained etched in my heart.
As a result, I put a lot of effort in my studies to prove him right. It worked, because I was a top student from primary to secondary school, in fact, I scored ‘A’ in my Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education exams. I intend to raise my children just the way my father raised me.
One of the most important things I will teach my children, and which I learnt from my father, is to have confidence in themselves, to believe they can achieve whatever it is they set their minds to do. I will also teach them the virtue of humility and consideration for other people.
My father’s calm nature has taught me that you do not have to be loud or arrogant to pass your message across or to lead.